Yeah, so, I think I might just stay in bed today.

Have you ever just woken up, unable to move? The thoughts in your head saying ‘stay’, even just for a second. Or, does my job really matter that much anyway? Surely school isn't that important, I can miss a day… I can do all these tasks tomorrow…

I run through everything I have to get done today in my head and come to the conclusion that it can all wait. It's not that important… right? Yeah, I think I'll just take a day and relax.
I mean I'm really tired and seriously need some “me” time… or something. Yeah, that's what I need! me time… just stay home. (Obviously trying to convince myself)

Ok - Who am I kidding, it's not like I've actually got a choice here. Well, it sure as hell feels like I don't. Every single other day I get up and go face the world. I put on this brave façade. But today, I just fucking can't. I don't know if it’s the fact that I can't be bothered? or I don't have enough courage? or I'm too tired? too drained?
(I need to add that being tired, drained, and having a lack of courage is a normal thing for me, a burden I carry around daily. These attributes somehow usually remain minor enough for me to function in a ‘normal’ enough manor; but sometimes they brutally cross the line).

Now I don't know if it's any of those things that are holding me back today, but I do know that my energy has depleted drastically and I actually can't move.

You've heard the question posed of what happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force. Well it's kind of a twisted version of that where in this scenario they're actually on the same team, and I'm trying to fight against them both… messed up right?! Head buried in my pillow, and a mental middle finger sticking up screaming “Fuck the world, today I just can't.”But is that so wrong? Is it so wrong to say I can't every now and then? I mean, I fight every single day to be this upstanding citizen in a messed up and demanding society, and I usually do a pretty damn good job if I do say so myself (majorly biased).
I'm talking day in, day out, consuming this summoned courage. It's a pretty draining lifestyle. So in all honesty, don't I deserve a day off? To hibernate, to regenerate energy and courage, to be free, for just one day. (Either way, I think I need it)

The majority of us are in a situation, whether it be work or school, where a sick day is a common thing. No one judges you for being sick, because you are sick, it’s okay! But we disregard the element that it's ONLY physical illness we're talking about here, not mental illness. Nooo, you're not allowed to be mentally ill. You can't take a day off in the eye of the law if you're mentally unwell… that’s just not a thing. Stop making excuses to get out of stuff! Do you think a young boy having an anxiety attack is allowed to chill in the sick bay? “Nah, take his temperature, tell him he'll be okay and send him back to class, there's nothing wrong with him...” well, pfft. Don't you see we're approaching this all wrong?! We're a fast growing society, we're learning and progressing, which is low key amazing; but with that, our methods need to evolve to suit.

Sometimes, we just need time.

The worst part about this whole thing is that life and society wait for no one. Everything I skip today, I'll have to face tomorrow, and it'll be a challenge riddled with a greater anxiety. The truth is, the longer life gets put off the harder it is to come back to, don't trip on that.
I know I can't do this all the time, but I just need one day…

See you tomorrow world x